Picture this: it’s evening, at the end of a very long day. You just got through the rush of dinnertime and the mayhem of bathtime. Everyone’s tapped out, and you’ve got 30 minutes, maybe even an hour, before bed, and would love some time to catch your breath. So the TV goes on, or the iPads come out, and all is relatively peaceful for a while.
Then bedtime rolls around, and suddenly your little angels are full of newfound energy, bouncing around the hallway instead of letting themselves get tucked in. Or your older child tells you that each time she closes her eyes, she keeps worrying about that test tomorrow, and just can’t relax. You’re left scratching your head and wondering how you got here, when everyone was so tired from the day just a little while ago.
Unfortunately, your kids (and you) may be experiencing a “blue light special”. This is my nickname for what can happen when kids (and adults) are exposed to electronic screens at the wrong time of the day.
We human beings have a circadian rhythm, meaning that our environment throughout the day and night affects when and how we sleep. When it’s dark, our bodies start secreting melatonin, a hormone that helps us sleep. Likewise, exposure to light shuts off the flow of melatonin.
But all light is not created the same. While all types of light inhibit the secretion of melatonin, light on the blue end of the color spectrum has a stronger effect than the other colors. Morning light has more blue in it than afternoon, which has a more orange tone. Morning light is designed to wake us up from the day while orange and and red signal that it’s time to start powering down. The illuminated screens we all like to look at on computers, TVs, tablets and smartphones emit light which is so blue, it’s like morning daylight on steroids, and it packs strong punch in terms of blocking melatonin.
Without melatonin flowing through our system, our brain decides that it’s the morning and time to be awake, even when our body and mind are very much in need of rest. This is the reason why I recommend that parents avoid exposing their kids to screens during the 90 minutes before bedtime (and it’s a good idea for us adults to do the same).
But back to you, and your hope for getting some peace and the chance for your children to settle and wind down in the hour before bed. What to do now?
I suggest keeping special puzzles, games, crafts or quiet toys aside just for the hour before bedtime. These could go in a special basket that gets put away at all other times. These should be things that they really like and will look forward to doing. Each child could have their own basket, or have one big one for the family. Some of the families I work with choose a chapter book to enjoy together, and one reader takes a turn reading a chapter each evening.
It’s also a good time, if you can manage it, to get in some relaxed one-on-one connection time with each child. Giving a child your undivided individual attention for just 10 minutes can fill up their attention bucket and help avoid some of the stalling that can happen later at bedtime. Sometimes resistance at bedtime stems from an unmet need to feel truly seen and heard by you before the day ends (of course there are many other reasons why stalling can happen, but this definitely is one of them).
It will help give melatonin a natural extra boost if you start lowering the lights in your home during the hour before lights-out, just as the sky begins to dim before sunset.
On the other hand, blue light isn’t all bad. Looking at illuminated screens in the morning and getting plenty of exposure to natural outdoor light can help increase energy and alertness during the day and may make it easier to fall asleep later, as long as the blue light makes an exit in the evening.
So let your kids enjoy a little Saturday morning TV or video games relatively guilt-free, then head out for a walk or a game outside. Later everyone can wind down with a good game,
Dr. Sasha Carr is a psychologist, family sleep coach and mom dedicated to helping babies, toddlers, children and families get the rest they need. In addition to heading her sleep consulting company for parents, Off to Dreamland, Dr. Carr helps train future sleep coaches at the Family Sleep Institute and serves as the resident pediatric sleep expert at Willows Pediatric Group in Westport, CT. For more information or to get help, visit www.offtodreamland.com
